In the conference hall, the first speaker of the afternoon is talking about end to end payment systems.

“through disintermediation, 500 staff is a lot of potential efficiency saved….Many of these drivers can be replicated to achieve end to end STP…finding market tested designs addressing just that issue…the RosettaNet payment milestone programme….”

For half an hour. I think I'm going to die. Oh my god. Kill me now.

At the end of his speech there are no questions. The chairman – bald, American, comedy glasses – is upbeat and introduces the next speaker. Erastus Hamm of the Dow Chemical Corporation.

Andy looks nervous, but convincing. He has two pairs of glasses. Conference notes. A laptop. And a good line in banter with his Dow Chemical colleague Vikram (Mike), who is maneuvering a tall, shrouded object on a stand, covered in red cloth, tied at the top with a clothes peg. “Such a perfectionist” says Erastus, leaning into the mic, as Vikram accidentally drops the explosive charge box on the floor, nearly unveils what’s underneath the shroud and grins his way back to the front row.

It’s funny seeing Andy up there. Having seen his face on film posters all round town. Seeing his face in magazines. Watched him giggling and jumping into a golden phallus futuristic business leisure suit in a Finnish conference hall in the Yes Man film. Now he’s standing there. Alone. In a room full of people expecting a speech about end to end payment systems. He changes his glasses and brings up the first slide.

"Hello. It's truly a pleasure to be here among so many of the movers and shakers of the world economy. After all, it's you guys who say what companies like mine can and can't do..."

There’s a picture of toxic skull. A cannon. A golden skeleton, a pot of gold, a leprechaun, and a man on his knees, being showered in dollar bills. And the new 'Acceptable Risk' calculator

Mentioning the Bhopal disaster he says it was “good it happened in India”. He announces a new way of measuring the value of human lives (depending on which country you’re working in). A few people start taking notes.

His mobile phone goes off. Three times. The chairman doesn’t look happy. Generally though, it is getting a slightly better reaction than the previous talk.