Saturday, June 16, 2007

Burning People Into Oil Gets Industry's Attention Until....

Have you ever heard of Vivoleum? According to two men at a Canadian oil conference, Exxon has now made it possible to turn the dead into oil. They told the audience not to worry about climate change, because Vivoleum was the way of the future.

From BitterTonic:

“Representatives” from Exxon and the National Petroleum Council reassure us that in the worst case scenario, the oil industry could “keep fuel flowing” by transforming the billions of people who will die in an environmental calamity right back into oil.

“We need something like whales, but infinitely more abundant,” said “NPC rep” “Shepard Wolff”.

“”Vivoleum works in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of fossil fuel production,” noted “Exxon rep” “Florian Osenberg.” “With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will continue to flow for those of us left.”

Scared? You should be. Because this crazy presentation that was delivered June 14th at GO-EXPO, Canada’s largest oil conference, wasn’t outed as a prank until nearing the end of the speech, when the fake representatives lit candles supposedly made from actual Vivoleum obtained from the flesh of an “Exxon janitor” who died as a result of cleaning up a toxic spill. The audience - 300 oil men - only reacted when the janitor, in a video tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles after his death.

The two pranksters were escorted out of the building rather quickly, but the local police did not find anything seriously wrong with their actions. Commonly known as the Yes Men, these guys travel around and pretend to be criminals such as oil execs, arms dealers, etc. and make light of all the evil that these industries engender.

The scary thing is that their audience listened intently to the processes described to turn human bodies into oil. To these crooks it is all about the dollar, if they don't care about the planet why would they give two shits about respecting the dead.