(Aden) -- Everyone's favorite merry political pranksters have officially announced their recent purchase of the troubled nation of Yemen. Parlaying the enormous fortune they have generated through various staged episodes mocking the rich and powerful, the Yes Men have been working covertly for more than a year to acquire a controlling interest in this diverse yet stark waterfront property -- about the size of California -- in the southern Arabian Peninsula.

According to a high-ranking unnamed source within the Yes Men, the small republic recently has become a central front in the ongoing and so-called "War on Terra." As an oil-depleted nation, the former Yemen had to rely on aggressive water extraction methods to yield even a modest crop from its arid plains and moutainous terrains. "We figured that it would be a safe place to hide out for a while, since it has almost no oil reserves left and therefore would be of no strategic interest to imperialist actors," said the high-ranking official on the condition of anonymity. "Naturally, it turned out that we were wrong about that -- imperialism knows no bounds, go figure! -- but a deal's a deal, and we're here for the duration one way or another."

Among its first official decrees, the newly-coined 'Republic of Yesmen' has made Algebraic the fledgling nation's new official language and religion. "Look, algebra was most likely invented here over a thousand years ago, it's taught in schools all around the world, and at least it reaches concrete answers every once in a while," said Dr. Gemay Crackorn of the newly-founded Yesmen University. "There has been a lot of fighting over religion and culture, but no one really disputes the true and universal nature of Algebra, so this could be a factor toward peace in the region if people embrace its inherent logic." When asked whether people might have difficulty learning to speak Algebraic, Dr. Crackorn quizzically replied, "y=2-b/ad, QED."

Indeed, it has long been known that the Yesmeni people "are friendly, full of dignity, and have strong bonds with their old traditions.... The[ir] way of life reflects untarnished tradition and hospitality that knows no bounds. The houses are like bewitched fairy tale castles. The air carries the scent of spices. Women wearing red and silver dresses and embroidered wide breeches are seen baking bread and the men's watches appear to be timeless -- life does not end with the setting sun." As Dr. Crackorn cracked, "what better place to make war and demolish lives?"

The unprecedented purchase was made possible by the fact that the average resident of the nation earns only a few dollars (USD equivalent) per day. Such extreme poverty often motivates acts of desperation and a willingness to embrace extremist ideologies. Coincidentally, it has been speculated that al Qaeda started operating in the former Yemen shortly after the World Bank and International Monetary Fund "loaned" money to the erstwhile country and required "concessions" in the form of Structural Adjustment Programs (including cuts to public infrastructure). The appearance of al Qaeda there has drawn the interest of the US military, which allegedly may or may not have been working with local officials to orchestrate bombing campaigns against terrorists who are accused of seeking to orchestrate bombing campaigns.

According to a Yesmeni press release, the potential presence of US military forces makes the purchase even more attractive. "After seeing how much money was made in Iraq during the war there, it became apparent that the former Yemen could become a reconstructionist's goldmine once the bombs start falling on towns and villages. War is just the continuation of the economy by other means." The release notes that the purchase was made possible through funding (on speculation of 'peace profiteering') by benevolent entities including the Carlyle Group and Halliburton. "There are about 25 million people in this small nation, and we paid about $1000 each for them," said the release. "For less than the cost of an Afghan surge, we picked up a whole country instead."

In addition to changing the language and religion of the state, the new ruling class -- described in online literature as "a genderless, loose-knit association of some 300 impostors" -- also announced that the new state icon would be known as Yesmenite Sam, a kindly-looking figure who strikes a pose that is intended to elicit sacrifice and unquestioning obedience to the law that is being made up "as we go" by the incipient rulers. "We're Here to Help ... or Else" is the official state motto, and so far the people of Yesmen seem not displeased at the prospect.

"Before now," said former dissident and new Deputy Ambassador to the UK, Yusuf Islam, "we were governed by either British imperialists or corrupt local officials. Now we have an opportunity to govern ourselves under the watchful eyes of a benevolent oligarchy that knows how to stand up to exploiters and colonizers across the globe. Who would have thought this would be possible? Baby, it's a wild world!"

Among the benefits of purchasing the nation is the right to exercise its seat at the United Nations. "We were going to pretend to be the official delegation from Yemen and crash the UN anyway, so now we can just walk right in the front door as the rightful participants from Yesmen instead," said Chief Yesmen Delegate Wilbur van den Hoople. Among its first proposals to the UN, the Yesmen contingent moved for a formal declaration of war against itself, and also demonstrated a new product called 'The Protector' that is essentially an inflatible oil-slicked rubber sheath used to cover oneself in case of a biological attack from clandestine entities such as USAID -- which has had tense prior relations with the new nation's predecessor:

"[I]n 1990 when the Yemeni Ambassador to the United Nations voted against a resolution for a US-led coalition to use force against Iraq, U.S. Ambassador to the UN Thomas Pickering walked to the seat of the Yemeni Ambassador and retorted: 'That was the most expensive No vote you ever cast.' Immediately afterwards, USAID ceased operations and funding in Yemen."

World reaction to the creation of Yesmen has been mixed. President Obama called it "audacious -- and hopefully someone else will take a firm stance against these sorts of quasi-corporate shenanigans." French leaders, in a symbolic gesture of good will, immediately surrendered to Yesmen and offered to help them build the nation's first nuclear reactor. Russian officials decried the obvious pro-Western intentions of the new Yesmeni kleptocracy, saying "why didn't we think of this first?" China locked up 100 potential dissidents at random who have the letter Y in their name. Canada paradoxically responded by taking down the new Yesmen website.

Prospects for the planet's newest country are already looking up. On news of the acquisition, inflation rose to an all-time high of 43%, unemployment moved to double digits, the Yesmeni rial lost half of its value overnight, and the US military announced that it will be escalating its offensive within the country's borders. "This is such an exciting time for real estate speculation, labor-pool exploitation, factory relocation, and no-bid governmental contracts," noted Yesmeni Commerce Secretary John Dunning-Down. "We have eliminated all barriers to free trade here, abolished all environmental and human rights laws, undone whatever meager civil liberties protections had existed, and are declaring Open Season for any and all industries and commercial enterprises. In a few years time, we'll have a very wealthy elite class and a semi-stable underclass with minor disposable incomes, making us a veritable First World nation in all of the ways that are important to being one."

Even al Qaeda seems to be on board. A recently released video on CaveNet quotes a shadowy figure as saying, in garbled and translated mathematical symbols, "We're changing our name to al Gebra and launching an all-out war against innumeracy around the world. Even though we never really existed in an organized, tangible way, we now realize that we are like imaginary numbers that can be used to perform certain operations in the service of multinational polynomials. We shall now abandon the ways of aggression and instead seek to defeat the infidels in the schools and markets rather than in the rugged mountains. Voila!"

A Yesmeni report confirms that all known terrorists have laid down their arms and registered for mathematics courses. US officials were, however, skeptical. "It just doesn't add up," said Maj. Gen. Skylar Biggun, "and so we will continue to drop bombs until every algebra student -- I mean, terrorist -- is wiped off the face of the earth." Yesmeni President Komman Gettis shrugged off such sentiments. "U=bi/t-e(m-e)," he said dismissively. "The transitive and associative properties tell us that the Yankee logic is inherently flawed. But they are welcome to come here and try. As the saying goes, there's no such thing as bad publicity..."

Wire Services stringer Russell Bell contributed to this outlandish story.