@MrInBetween: I always imagined Clooney be of great mirth.

@es-ki-mo: I always imagined Clooney to be of great girth, but that's probably just me.

@Cher_Horowitz: Ah! That's the word.

@pareenesobscene: This is why we can't have good hoaxes anymore. In our post 9/11 world, any successful hoax instantly becomes a police matter and a disaster.

What about the Carrol Gardens fake Gawker blogger? Was he ever caught?@dado:

@CodePink: That kind of hoax can end badly.

@poisonville: I rose from the dead but really actually I just rolled out of bed and everyone believed i had risen it was a good hoax i liked it1 lol hoaxes.

@CodePink: also there was a hoax that if i took a shower i would not smell anymore but then i took a shower and i still smelled cuz actually the water was pee oh my gosh it's a hoax

@CodePink: there was a hoax one time let me tell you about it: my dad made a sandwich and he said that it was good but it wasn't it was a hoax.
SANDWICHOAX.

@CodePink: did you guys hear about the hoax that happen with me and this boy. he said that he loved me and he didn't it was a hoax that made me lose 30 pounds and cut myself. oh hoaxes!

@CodePink: i made a hoax once where i told everyone i could fly so one day i jumped off timmy moynihan's back porch and i flew away.

the hoax was that you thought i COULDN'T fly just now!

hoax'd!!!!

@CodePink: Always look on the bright side of life.

@CodePink: I like the jesus christ one better than that one but a hoax like that could backfire because your birthday would be on christmas and people would get you only one present and you'd say, "it was just a hoax!!!11!" but it would be too late and you'd be hoaxed on your own petard.

@Richard: that is a good hoax i thought something and then you prove me wrong so it was a hoax.

Did you know that once I laughed and laughed at a joke but it wasn't funny and then it turned out that I was laughing at something my best friend had said many years in my mind and she was funny but the person who told me the joke wasnt but still her memories linger and make me laugh at things now that aren't funny even though she's dead oh it's a hoax!

@poisonville: everyone is allowed to their own hoaxy opinions and i agree with you it's a good hoax the best is that the easter bunny isn't really a bunny at all but hope oh my gosh hoax.

@CodePink: One time I told everyone ahead of time, I said "oh this is a hoax." So they all nodded and said "Richard is doing a hoax." And then we went for a walk and went to the movies and went out on the water for a bit and then went home to have dinner and then we were watching another movie, but this time on the couch, and eating popcorn and everyone said "Richard, is the hoax over?" and I laughed and pointed at them and everyone said "Ohhh there was no hoax. That was the hoax!" And I laughed and nodded my head and then set the house on fire and locked everyone inside.

THAT was the hoax!

@Richard: the hoax was on YOU BECAUSE I GOT BURNED BUT LIVED AND NOW MY MOTHER IS TYPING THIS I'M GONNA GET YOU RICHARD YOU HOAXTER. (just kidding i'm dead it's a hoax)

@CodePink: that is probably your best hoax to date!

no, just hoaxing. it's not.

@CodePink: I tell everyone my real name is Aaron Altman AND THEY BELIEVE ME whereas you could never get away with "I'm CodePink" because people would confuse your avatar with poisonville's OR A GIANT ROLL OF THIS STUFF.

@CodePink: my superintendent told me the entire country where he came from was a hoax, not a real country, and they pretended to have a poor country in the distant for thousands of years and everyone believed them and left them alone, even though they only had a post office box there--oh, how unbearable it was for these people for no one to know, and over time the people putting on the hoax settled down, lived their lives, passed on their hoax of a country from generation to generation, and giggled at the thought that they were in maps! in history books! stories of their kings and (lack of) industry and scrawny livestock, all they had made up and passed along to reporters and travelers and the occasional wrong number to their one phone line. And so it came that these people with nothing but marlboros to smoke and a hoax to perpetrate became uneasy as their actual life in this tiny poor mountain region came to resemeble the hoax they were perpetrating and that bonded them together as a people. They went to hoax schools, spoke a hoax language, sang a hoax anthem, performed hoax traditional rites when one of their own was taken by the Lord of Death. Finally, the hoax could stand no more, and the wisest one among them was appointed ruler--he was charged with revealing the hoax, yet there was no way to do it. Poor Enver Hoxha (for Hoxha was the only surname in this mountain land). How could he bring the world to believe that his dispirited, beaten miserable people had played it for a fool all these years? Or had they only played themselves for fools? There was no way out, and he saw he must force his people to escape, to leave the damned country, but they clung too tight, so he played the role of a tyrant, a brutal dictator, until by the end, there were no livestock left to eat, worse, no marlboros to smoke, and all the hoaxers had to take rickety boats for Italy and points west and from where they could only wonder about the burdens of history, which still weighed on them like a dream from which they couldn't wake...

@Aaron Altman: Hey, my agent told me that would only show up in Japan.

@poisonville: Oh my God fine. There was a time, see, when the whole of the world, see, believe that if they sailed toward the horizon, see, they would fall off, see, and then this guy, see, took three ships, see, one of them called the pina colada, see, to America, see, which was named after some other dude, see, the way the Hudson River, see, was named after a half-moon, see, and a roll thought to be French, see, really came from Belgium, see, and then France, see, built this whole Maginot Line, see, which they though would protect them from Nazis, see, and all the Germans did was tiptoe around the wall, see, not the Great Wall of China, see, which wasn't build by the Freemasons, see, but by masons, see, and it was really long and you could play handball against it, see, and the games would be very interesting because, see, you would never know where the ball would come back to, see, and they didn't have GPS back then because, see, there was no such technology so, see, they relied on some dude in a fire tower, see, to look out for you, see, and cry out coordinates, see, to the person below, see, who would run from Marathon to Athens, see, for which ING would sponsor a race in his name, see, which a lady from England would win, see, with her legs cramping up, see, but not until she had crossed the finish line, see, which is unlike what the Germans had done to France in building the Great Wall of China where your GPS that you use to find the bar by the Hudson River where you get pina coladas that make you say, Oh my God, fine, leave me out of your hoax.

@Aaron Altman: Pics or it never happened.

@poisonville: Is it enough if I recite the whole thing in Filipino with a vaguely eastern European accent?

@Aaron Altman: Dayenu.

@poisonville: Mabuhay!

@es-ki-mo: NEXT YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT YOU AREN'T BRENDA WALSH?

Oh god, why?
Crumbling my universe.

@es-ki-mo: I believe everything you say, even the hyphens.

@Aaron Altman: Don't believe the hyp(h)e(n)!

@SisterMaryMartha: There, there - it's going to be OK!

@es-ki-mo: You won't dash my hopes. Or emdash them.

@Aaron Altman: Can I Mrs. Dash them?

@es-ki-mo: I'm not angry; I'm just hurt.

YOU LYING NON-INUIT BITCH YOU BROKE MY HEART.

@es-ki-mo: Does that comprise sugar and spice and everything nice?

@SlantedAndDisenchanted: Oh good point!!

@SlantedAndDisenchanted: Apropos, Laura Albert was shopping in my store last week. The fabulist may be broke, but she had no problem spending $250 on assorted tchotchke. I have to say she knows how to pull off a hoax!