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Kelly McParland: Tea Party ‘patriots’ urge Americans to deport themselves

Jan 25, 2012 – 12:29 PM ET

Alex Kaye is feeling guilty about the fact his great-grandfather, also named Alex, immigrated illegally from Poland to work in a Chicago packing plant. He suspects great-grandfather Alex snuck in through Canada to avoid a literacy test (evidently we didn’t care about literacy back them), and he feels it is “kind of shameful” that all the other Kayes (who weren’t named Kaye at the time, being Polish) have been living in the U.S. on false pretenses ever since.

So, next July 4 he’s “self-deporting” himself back to Poland, where he intends to hang out for a while, and then re-apply to immigrate “the right way.”

You can watch Alex explain himself on his YouTube video, where he comes across a bit like a U.S. version of Hugh Grant, all mannerly and apologetic. Alex is being championed by a group that calls itself  Patriots for Self-Deportation, which is hoping the idea catches on, though mainly with newly arrived Mexicans rather than fourth- or fifth- generation Poles with identity problems. On Monday the group got a boost when Republican candidate Mitt Romney declared his support for self-deportation as a means of slowing illegal immigration.

Like the Patriots, Romney is mainly hoping some of the millions of Mexicans in the country illegally will skedaddle back across the Rio Grande, all on their own initiative. To give them a push, states like Arizona and Alabama have been introducing punitive laws that seek to make life as miserable as possible for illegals. Mr. Romney’s idea isn’t quite as harsh: legal workers would be issued cards, subject to a national verification system, to show to employers. People without cards couldn’t get jobs, so eventually would get so hard up they’d kick themselves out. (If, of course, they don’t turn to crime, drugs or go to work for unscrupulous employers, which a lot do now anyway.)

The Patriots — which says it’s a “growing force within the Tea Party — were quite pleased at Mr. Romney’s support. They have a web site set up to help answer questions, like “How can I know if ancestors of mine came here legally?”, “If I suspect that an ancestor should never have received citizenship, am I morally obliged to do something about it?” and “If several of my ancestors came over illegally, how do I decide which country of origin to return to?”

“America belongs to REAL Americans,” it says, and everyone else should get lost, pronto.

Predictably, there’s been some blowback, presumably from less patriotic Americans. Several pointed out that, as Alex was born in the U.S., he’s legally an American citizen and it doesn’t matter what his great-grandpa did. Some native Americans have suggested that everyone going back to the Mayflower is there without their approval, and want to know when they’ll be leaving. There’s also the small matter of  whether Poland has been asked whether it wants a few million Americans showing up suddenly because someone they never met didn’t fill out Form 32-C before landing at Ellis Island at the turn of the last century. Who knows, there might be a few from Ireland and Italy who weren’t exactly punctillious about their paperwork as well.

Alex hasn’t been getting a lot of sympathy. “What about your great-grandfather’s great-grandfather? Are you sure he was legal in Poland?” someone commented on his YouTube video. A guy named Lewis is worried that his ancestors came from the “Austro-Hungarian Empire” and he’d have to deport himself to a country that didn’t exist any more. The same problem could arise for other Poles like Alex: which “Poland” do they deport themselves to, given that big chunks have been added and subtracted over the centuries.  Is there an “original” Poland he can apply to?

So many questions.  Fortunately, Patriots for Self-Deportation doesn’t sweat the details. “US citizenship is for those who can show PROOF their original ancestors were here legally. All illegals and descendants of illegals are here ILLEGALLY and must be DEPORTED at once,” it says. So if you don’t have documents, out you go. And, as Alex has found, a birth certificate won’t do.

National Post

Posted in: Full Comment, U.S. Politics  Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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Showing 13 comments
  • EdM 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    I will follow Mr. Kaye's lead.  I think Ireland in the summer, Norway in the autumn, South Africa in the spring and ending with a nice summer retreat to somewhere in Brittany. I think the French releative was born in Maine so I might try to spend a few weeks in the US of A during college footbal season.
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  • Mr_ K1 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    To be inscribed on the base of the new Statue of Immigration Protocol. 

    "Give us your perfect, your bureaucratically punctillious, your best form-filler outers, yearning to be more American than thee."
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  • Richard V 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
  • Mr_ K1 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Weird. Maybe they should expand their idea of real Americans to include those whose ancestors always paid all their taxes and never committed a crime. Just how many "real Americans" would there be?

    I wonder how these "patriots" would react if one of their favourite politicians (say Ronald Reagan or Sarah Palin) has an ancestor that arrived illegally?
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  • Geoff E 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Old sentiment: "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free."

    New sentiment: "We're giving back your tired, your poor, your huddled masses because they're not as good as we are."

    I wonder how many Tea Party members believe that xenophobia will HELP the American economy?
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  • andy7189 3 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Well, if the "Patriots" can convince the rest of the Tea Party to deport themselves, the Republican Party might have a fighting chance at becoming a realistic and consistently relevant alternative once again.  Go on now, deport yourselves.
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  • gobblers knob 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    ...and are they assuming that the countries they "deport" themselves to will now accept them as citizens? Perhaps Leutonia would allow this... yes, the Leutonians are a compassionate people from "the dark side of the Balkans".
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  • andy7189 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    I just don't see how the situation in America gets markedly better until the Republicans convince all the Tea Partiers to deport themselves to whoever will take them.
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  • EricShipley 3 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Whoever designed that website should be the first deported.
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  • gobblers knob 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    I'd like to ask the Poles what they think of this fellows arrival on their shores. The word "idiot" comes to mind.
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  • Anonymous66 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    What was that Tom Hanks movie about getting stranded in the airport because your citizenship doesn't check out?  I mean, if he feels his passport is invalid, what's he going to seek admission to Poland on if they don't recognize him as being Polish?
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  • Fred_001 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand
    Farce in the service of principle.  Brilliant.
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  • gobblers knob 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand
    Brilliant. Hmmm..., had to think about that...this is my conclusion- to be "brilliant" there would have to exist some notion of "principle". No "principle" that I can detect is being served, though "self-service", cruelty and xenophobia seem deeply rooted. There but for the grace of god go I....
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