The Great WTO Pie
Hoax
|
Gentlemen,Thank you for your kind invitation.I may not be able to
attend personally, but I would like very much to |
| Dear Mr.
Moore: Michael Devine advises me that you wish to send a staff member to speak at the 26-29 October conference in Salzburg. If you will confirm name of the individual and contact information, I will have further information sent. Regards, Dennis Campbell Center for International Legal Studies |
| Dear Ms.
Foley: We were somewhat puzzled by Dr. Bichlbauer's participation at the conference. . . . The essential thrust of his speech appeared to be that Italians have a lesser work ethic than the Dutch, that Americans would be better off auctioning their votes in the presidential election to the highest bidder and that the primary role of the W.T.O. was to create a one-world culture. In the late afternoon, a cameraman (I think it was the same one who filmed Dr. Bichlbauer's speech) appeared at the hotel and sought to interview our delegates. He said Dr. Bichlbauer had been hit in the face with a pie outside the hotel and wanted to know if the delegates thought Dr. Bichlbauer's speech had provoked the attack. . . . Several of our delegates (including work-ethic impaired Italians) approached me to express concern about the speech, the alleged pie incident and the cameraman who sought interviews in the late afternoon. Your clarification will be appreciated. Regards, Dennis Campbell |
| Dennis Campbell,
Indeed you are correct,
Dr. Bichlbauer was in fact "pied" after Alice Foley |
| Professor
Campbell,
I was disappointed to
hear from Alice Foley that some people in the Dr. Bichlbauer |
| Dear Professor
Campbell: I was dismayed to learn of your unfortunate experience with our representative, Andreas Bichlbauer. . . . I will recommend that Dr. Bichlbauer be required to attend a refresher course on public speaking, communication and policy before any further appearances on behalf of the W.T.O. . . . However, having examined the presentation exhaustively, I am forced to conclude that never in any particulars do Dr. Bichlbauer's statements . . . depart from the spirit if not the precise letter of our intentions and aims. That is, while we of course do not advocate vote-selling or siesta-banning at the present time, it is quite true that efficiency and the streamlining of culture and politics in the interests of economic liberalization is at the core of the W.T.O.'s programme, and such practices as described by Dr. Bichlbauer are useful in clarifying the long-range interests of global development as promoted by our organization and others. Mike Moore |
| Dear Dennis
Campbell,
The situation has, I
regret to say, somewhat deteriorated from an Alice Foley |
| Please, please let
us know if anything at the conference struck you as strange, or if you can imagine anyone performing this masterpiece of cowardice, that so threatens to delete Dr. Bichlbauer from our midst in the prime of his usefulness. |
| Those who found Dr.
Bichlbauer's talk "peculiar," "puzzling" and so on were alert to a situation that has only now become clear to our overcentralized eyes: Dr. Bichlbauer was an impostor! . . . He, his "security guard" and his "cameraman" . . . belong, it turns out, to an anti-trade cabal called "The Yes Men," whose interests run exactly counter to our own, and who will stoop to any level whatsoever to make points. (The point they were attempting to make with this trickery, according to the handwritten letter which we received by this morning's post, had something to do with "corporate power" and "democracy," though the syntax and handwriting of the letter are, truth be told, too execrable to make much of. . . . It is of course extremely embarrassing to us that we can have been conned, like common dowagers, in this way. . . . |
|
"There are a
thousand forms of subversion, all of them interesting. |